noʎ ǝʌoן ı ..

Beautiful

2011-11-16T04:41:00.003+08:00

And all I could think of is you . I'm dying for u when are u ever coming back ?:( here I am waiting each day to pass fast cause I'm looking forward for th day you'll text me and tell me ure coming again . Stop pushing me away your egoness used to trick me but not now and forever it will be baby . You're jus weak as usual and I could see through u clearly . I'll never stop trying till th day I see ure so over it . I'm sorry , I'm not a quitter and I'll never quit . Just like what you say ..

Past midnight , it's 9.11.11

2011-11-11T05:29:00.004+08:00

Nothing can describe this feeling nothing can describe th moment nothing can explain how happy how thankful how heavenly I felt . Nothing. It was too good to even breathe a word to tell how great it felt like and how unbelievably happy I was . In fact I feel like I was th happiest girl on earth . Happiest girl on th nineth . Can't believe right infront of me I was seeing th angel of my life . It felt like a dream , likea dream come true . In fact I still think it was a dream cause it was too good to be true. I felt like as thou I was holding my breath th whole time didn't wanna hear any sound not even my own breathing but just hearing u speak so beautifully . Th words of th catch ups , th words turn to laughters. Th eyes that met alot of times pretending it was jus normal like how we used to . Th moment we were silently shut in a 'cage'. There my arms been grab so willingly , so lovingly , so caringly , so touchingly .I nearly fainted as it felt like throughout my whole entire life I've been waiting for this . Oh how could u be so perfect that I never thought u were human . Th eyes of an angel I miss , th touch of an angel I've longed for . It happened in a blink of an eye and now I'm jus thinking back to get myself into place and keep smiling like there is no tomorrow . You were perfectly fine, don't get frustrated over it , you were perfectly beautiful, your voice were perfectly sound . You are such a beauty that was too much to be seen but to feel it mentally and physically . Th night was th best night of my existence . Come again my angel , I've always been waiting and always will be and forever for as long I breathe.

Damn damn damn what I'd do o have you here?;(

2011-10-21T02:00:00.003+08:00

Well I seriously wish I could tell him how much I still love him so thou but i bet it's never gonna mean a single shit to him cause it's all done already. It sucks to keep falling for a love that's not or will never be able to happen again but th love from us to that particular person is so strong that although we know it's too impossible , yet we find it possible and we just can't stop trying cause we get so stubborn and jus waiting for miracles to happen thou. Never in my life have I seen shooting stars then one day I saw it twice . Sigh I wished and prayed so hard for it but still nothing happens . Sad uh?tsk.. Too bad for me though. Ohmygod I realize ever since I stepped into secondary school life, throughout my life there is sure someone I fall deeply w and can never get over with tsk so sad lol. Well I hope things goes smoothly for me after Os and I really wanna quit crying in th middle of th night always out of nowhere :( like seriously sigh . I have to stop this psycho freaky thing LOL hate to wake up in th middle of my sleep and started crying;( like faeces.

Everyday j yearn for you
Everyday I call out for you
Everyday I look out for you
Everyday I was hopig to see you
Everyday I think of you
Everyday my love for you keeps growing
Everyday i wake up and was hoping to get a call or text from you
Everyday I remind myself that you're th only angel in my life and nothin could replace you

complicating bitch , just cut th crap .

2010-12-11T02:31:00.003+08:00

life's like this . uh-huh that's th way it is .

chill out , watcha yellin for ? lay back , its all been done before .

and if you could only it it be , you will see . .

i like you th way you are when we used to be one lovely birds . and you're talking to me one on one now and what youve become is somebody else . you're watching your back like you cant relax . you're trying to be cool , but you look like a fool to me .

why did you ever go and make things so complicated ? i see th way you're acting like you're somebody else , gets me frustrated .

i'll do anything for you

2010-12-09T22:02:00.003+08:00

i was so wrong for so long , only tryna please myself . i know i should have treated you better . but me and you were meant to last forever .. so let me in give me another chance to really be your girl . mmm whatcha say ? mmm that you only mean well .. how can i live with myself knowing that i let our love go ? i jus gotta let you know . i know what i did wasnt clever , but me and you were meant to last forever . so tell me boy , mmmm whatcha say ? boy tell me what you said ? i dont want you to leave me again . boy tell me what you said ? i really need you in my life cause things aint right ever since you left . im looking for someone who wont pretend and be somebody who is not afraid to say th way they feel about you . and im looking for someone who understands how i feel , someone who can keep me real and who knows always . and im looking for someone who takes me there , wants to share , shows he cares - thinking that you're th one ive been waiting for . could be th one i need ? im looking for someone to share my pain . someone who i can run to , who would stay with me when it rains . someone who i can cry with through th rain . someone who i can trust who's heart is right . dont tell anyone about th way you hold my hand . dont tell anyone about th things that we have planned . wont tell anybody how you turn my world around . i wont tell anyone how your voice is my favourite sound . you're gonna catch me if i fall .. i have love you all th while , now it just gets deeper . please understand me dear , love is weird .. i coloured you a valentine , struggled just to stay inside th lines . i really cant believe i lost myself again looking for something crazy beautiful nothing , now im talking in circles again . i wrote a song about your eyes , ate a slice of cherry pie , i cried all night . on a bench inside th park , i'll kiss you slowly in th dark . i'll nvr stop . i didnt mean to hurt you . i just nvr thought we'll fall out of place till like this terrible , and long .

xoxo
kristal

i promise you if we just try , we'll take this wrong and make it right .

2010-12-08T20:43:00.005+08:00

im not coming back , i've done something so terrible , im terrified to speak but you'd expect that from me . im mixed up , i'll be blunt . now th rain is just washing you out of my hair , and out of my mind . keeping an eye on th world , were so many thousands of feet off th ground . im over you now im at home in th clouds , towering over your head ..

i thought i can , but i cant .

i thought i forget , but i didnt .

i thought i dont need you , but i do .

i thought i'll be happier , but im just at my worst .

dont you feel th same way too ?

holding on to what i have .

2010-12-03T22:23:00.004+08:00

life seems pretty much boring . hmm clubbing , and all that is damn boring alr . so im trying to pick up new habits and hobby . but seems like i cant really find one. ugh i dunno why , but texting you is just pissing me off more . yes i care for you , yes i love you , yes i respect you , yes im being myself . but are you ? are you being yourself ? you arent . how do i know ? cmon .. its wrong to ask that . today supposingly should go out , but im just not in th mood and not up for anything . all i feel is like sitting in my room , lock myself up and jus stare in at my white clean wall . ha wtf . sorry ah if i damn guai lan ah but hell not in th mood for th past few days liao ah . its like , if you dont fucking wanna text me , jus don text sua . all this tipsy stuffs are getting into my mind, and making me so pissed off . i dont even know if should do what i wanted to do for you . im afraid i might jus waste my afford , and you wont appreciate it , or treasure it . in th first lace are we even .... okay , lol wthelll am i crapping man . why am i feeling so worked up about it ? i mean you are nth to me right ... or are you smth so much to me ? that im like this ? maybe when th tear roll down me , i'll know th answer .
whats th dealio about this man ugh bye .

back to december .

2010-11-28T02:39:00.003+08:00

im so glad you made time to see me . how's life , tell me how's your family ? i havent seen them in a while . you've been good , busier than ever . with small talk , work and th weather . your guard is up and i know why . cause th last time you saw me , is still burned in th back of your mind . you gave me roses and i left them there to die ..
so this is me swallowing my pride , standing infront of you saying im sorry for that night ..and i go back to december all th time . turns out freedom aint nothing but missing you , wishing that i realised what i had when you were mine ..
i'd go back to december turn around and make it all right .
these day , i havent been sleeping . staying up playing back myself leaving me , when you rbirthday passed and i didnt call . and i think about summer , all th beautiful times . i watched you laughing from th passenger side . realised that i loved you in th fall ..
i miss your tan skin , your sweet smile , so good to me , so right .. and how you held me in your arms that december night , th first time you ever saw me cry ..
maybe this is wishful thinking , probably mindless dreaming . if we loved again , i swear i'd love you right . i'd go back in time and change it but i cant . so if th chain is on your door , i understand .

OHMYGESUS I LOVE TH SONG . HELL YEA NICE RIGHT ?! taylor swift ! a.k.a ME . ew. HAHAHA i mean thats what they usually say !!
kay nights buhBYE .

you dont have to feel special , because you are special to me .

2010-11-25T02:43:00.003+08:00

so is like all of a sudden im fucking hell falling sick ?! and i feel like no one gives a damn ): dont know just th feeling . ugh . is like as though there is smth stuck at my throat , some itchy ness , and my nose block , and i can feel th fucking fever making its way to my god damn it body ! ): whats worse ? my brothere's birthday today ; which is his 25th birthday and im falling sick . oh well , fml much ? i know right . and some pig just freaking hell ps me while texting me halfway . thanks ah fatty ): anyway , my girl janessa accompanied me throughout and now i think she cant take it anymore tht she has to sleep . haha well girl , have fun choosing ur gown tmr :) it shoul be fun much uh ? ohmygee im like seriously darn sick , but this girl is damn stubborn and refuse to go to bed ! im still uploading pix that i went out with janessa jing huiand vanessa and jasmine ! and oh yeah speaking of which , jas is flying offf this fri ! fuck it lah , and ros havent come back yet ): where did all my precious gem gone to ? all sccattered away !): bleh . i swear i seriously dunno why im sick ! ohmygeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ! its like a sudden ! i suppose to go out with someone today but i had to do smth else . im sorry yah ): will meet this friday kay ! :) 2 at somer ! smile smile ! hahahaa hokay , im gonn aupload my pix again . oh yah fuck ! i got tumblr which i forgt -.- ! great ! regretted having many websites ! blog was much hell enough to handle liao . hmm should i have a formspring ? hahahha imagine th questions . gosh i can predict them ;) hahhaha imma crash , nah imma upload th pix . blog again soonest !

lovelove !

kristal :)

ohmygeeeeee

2010-11-23T01:04:00.004+08:00

hokay holidays been such a bitch . its like wthell , nothing to do , and i feel so shit which i dont know why . but i met many awesome peopleeeee :D i miss my girl . havent seen her for almost a month , and im dyin now . ohmygee . all th cupcakes are like friggin hell busy , if not busy freee but alr been booked and im getting pissed off here we always dont have a proper meet up . one meet up th other cant . so im like fuck it jus cancel it and we'll wait till everyone can which i shall say wait long man -.- whatever . just miss th old times. although ive got new friends , new groups but yeah th old one has always been th best . well too bad , im just gonna wait ! till all of you girls are free . damn it . so holidays been such a torture . instead i work . haha like a finally only my parents allow me ? but they dont allow me to work like those permanent or like those typical kinda work . only for events . yah like wthell .. they jus dont like th idea of their "princess" to worj . and im like ZZZZ -.- shopping ? i havent been shopping cause like not much stuff , all still th same face, same look , same cutting and same same same . bleh . well things patch up well , my life aint a disaster after all , i guess god still hearts me alot ! :D teehee . been meeting up ppl who i love deadly , talking to people who i love deadly , and still colecting more sweet kinds ! hahah hokay wthell i dunno whatthhell im typing . but yeah i hope you got me . ohmygeee went out with jing hui janessa vanessa jasmine last week , and i have yet to upload th pix ! damnnn it ! im just pure lazy . haha fuck ? im so gonna work for loreal sales again for dec event . its darn fun ! love th girl who work there damn cute n funney ! alrights imma crash will blog whenever i feel like it ! teehee my bad readers i jus got this habbit of having a blog but not posting anything . super sorry :( will try my best to keep updating you guys .

lovelove :)

kristal !

happpy sweetest 16th bdae , my jinghui ;>

2010-08-23T19:01:00.004+08:00

ZOMGGGGGGG ! jus came back from school ! errr nt really /: teehee ><> exam is coming ,thats why we cant really have a proper birthday party for our babygirl . but thnnnnnnn , rushing down to amk to catch a movie - STEP UP 3D , wasnt that bad afterall ! in fact not bad at all! i swear lah , damn funny can , we chiong right away after sch ! didnt wanna waste time and wanted to reach home on time ! we thought we couldnt make it today for our plan ,cause last min janessa had to attend A math ERP , while i was sick - vomitted twice ); and birthday girl fell sick coincidencely ! damn unlucky . butttt yet , for th sake for th birthday girl and having fun and celebration , we ignored th distractions . i tried to feel okay , so did th birthday girl .. while janessa lied to th tcher that she had to attend "tuition" teeheehee ! sacrfices for one anther ><>

"dear baby JH ,
i wanna wish you happy sixteenth birthday . love u to death babygirl . i hope u love th hello kitty surprises ! th hello kitty card , and cake ;> ! i hope u enjoyed th step up 3d movieeee cause all of us did ! ><> thn we are sooo gonnna hug one another and scream our lungs out . but seriously bby , sry couldnt make ur brithday that fun/special , but i hope u did at least enjoy today :))) love u more than anything !happy birthday my girl
<3>

well , imma upload th pix we took today in my formspring ! http://myecstasyfairy.tumblr.com/
love u readers ! buahbyeeeee ;>

awkward /shocked.

2010-08-18T23:51:00.003+08:00

i swear i was in shock just now when i realised it was him all th while . studied again today , as usual , - thts how i spent my nights everyday . was talking to gf abt something eh hem *important* and keep whinning abt IT . gosh i dunnno whats up with me naoz . thn i totally forgotten abt him , so nah he wasnt on my mind for th first time until then when i put down th phone and i was concentrating on my math , thn came voices that were much familiar . i knew there were a few teenage kids thr , but nth abt " is that him " on my mind . thn i swear when i took a good look , it was him indeed -.- after how many months .. lol . then cldnt do my math anymore , wasnt into my math anymore , no moood to study at all , felt like shit thn back to computer till naoz . lol . zzz . i felt awkward for that moment . jus froze thr in silence . wdvr , gonna pack my unfinished math sheets naoz , thanks to th "moment " hah . and gonna sleep ! ^^ damnnn i just fought with mum tsk .probably she didnt had a great day today . she came back throwing little tantrums and mumbling all th way non-stop . thn she said stuffs that irritated me and there we go again -.- bleh , hmm .. shall ask her tomorrow what actually happen . gonna crash now . nt that im tired , but just so many *not-important* stuffs are on my mind now and i wanna lay down on my bed and wonder and think and i dunno whats next . bleh i hate this part . nights , but im stilll gonna tumblr ^^

nights

xoxo

http://myecstasyfairy.tumblr.com

2010-08-12T01:34:00.002+08:00

I HAVE MOVED , BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN IM GONNA DELETE THIS EMO PAGE . IM STILL KEEPING IT FOR MORE EMO UPDATES . hahahhahahahh jus that , i will be using tumblr more than my blog ! :)

happy birthday roslynda .

2010-08-10T19:12:00.004+08:00

th chalet at pasir ris costa sand was a hell of a fun . we danced , party-ed till crazy and shag . one of th best birthday party ive ever attend to . hope th bday girl loves her surprises and all . went home like 3 am , too bad i couldnt sleep over . many got drunk and tipsy . gross to those whome vomitted yucksssss ! it was fun as th cupcakes could stay up till damn lateeee . two more cupcakes birthday to go ! jing hui's and mineeeeeeeeee ! :) we party-ed like hell as we know th following weeks we are back to our studies . goshhh ): anyway , special thanks to my dearest classmate , desmond for making th whole party a worth- while . he controlled most of it though :D

fear in me ..

2010-07-21T23:38:00.002+08:00

th blank pages of my diary that i havent touch since you left me ,

th close blinds in my room see no light of day ..

dust gathers on my stereo cause i cant bare to hear th radio ,

th piano sits in a shaded space with a picture of your face ..

im scare to face another day cause th fear in me jus wont go away ..

in an instant , you were gone and im still scare .

coffee stains on your favourite book , remind me of you so i cant even look .

th magazines you left on th floor ,

a towel left hanging on th wall ,

no sign of wet footsteps in th hall ,

there's no smell of your sweet cologne ..

im lying here a l o n e .

dont let someone become your everything , because when they're gone you have nothing .

2010-07-10T03:35:00.003+08:00

xoxo
goodnight , miserable world .

i miss the boy .

2010-07-06T01:50:00.003+08:00

parents talked some sense in me , and i finally know what i want in life . i hope it isnt too late to realise this all . i wanna change , and be what ppl nvr think i would be . i know my path now , and im gonna aim for what i want/dream . but first , i got to love myself dearly and treasure my life . if i dont , what makes me think others will ? organized , self-respect , discipline . its gonna be tough , yea i know . forget th boy for th moment , and concentrate in my future . if me and th boy were ever meant to be together , we will collide in th future . and thats thn called fated . if not , let it be then and accept th fact . my pink shiny phone screwed up , so im using th black phone . th phone i was using when i was with him , until th day we broke up . after studying today , i decided to see if th messages were all still in it . and indeed yes it is . i read from a to z , and teared , and sob , and cried , and whine . i dont deny , but there were text[s] of his that made real sense . its funny hw i get to watch how we fall apart slowly through reading all th messages . from th sweeetest , to th nt so sweet , and we made a decision that we dont meant for each other . but there was one text of his saying , " i hope we would collide in th future and thats then when we can call ourselves " meant to be" / "fated" . " this was what he texted .

i jus then realise everything ..

sigh , study hard boy , all th best in your future

i miss you ,

nights .

fml .

2010-07-05T02:17:00.003+08:00

what a fucking boring sunday . i feel lik making tumblr but am fucking lazy cann plus i feel like dying . cause im bored to death -.- and i dunno if its possible to catch eclipse and nine temples tmr ! cause no sch ! but parents keep kaopei ask me study . nt say like i nvr study lor . but pls lor , its my youth day . fuck it man bopian . study then study lor zzz . gonna begged damn still . if not means , tmr i will be rotting at home ! RATHER DIE LA T.T >; sian sian sian .

YKNOW WHAT FML __ -.-

nights nights i miss you <3>

dont wake me cause im dreaming of angels on th moon . you can tell me about your thoughts , about th stars that fill polluted skies .

2010-06-30T01:01:00.003+08:00

& show me where you run to , when no one's left to take your side .

goodnight , that precious gem that i have in my heart .

prelims !

2010-06-28T22:34:00.003+08:00

its starting oh gawd damn it i know that too and im freaked on how i felt like june hols jus started and th next thing yknow its tada !~ PRELIMS . T.T damnnnnnn no more relaxation[s] . no more taking ur own sweet time . no more wondering or what but got to start work fast !i miss him and i miss him ! ohmygod , no link i knowww . but is like i texted him jus then , and yeah my heartbeat so fast like as though my heart was gonna stop on a sudden . he replied , and i screamed andddd then i couldnt sleep -.- cause i was smiling all th way . like wtf right ? its jus a normal text can . hahaah i damn zzz . anyway jus finish practising my math and didnt turned up for sch today ! thanks to someone ! so yea woke up seven thiry , and then slept back and woke up nine thirty . took a bahte and had breakfast and studied till now . yea kristal damn hardworking cannnn ._. i fifnish shit loads of assignments . now gonna fresh up and rest !

nights nights hot day .
i miss you more than anything .

movie , AGAIN?!

2010-06-27T02:50:00.003+08:00

so yeah , spent time with parents AGAIN! :) wasnt that bad after all , gng out with them . in fact it was fun . actually wanted to catch movie with SOMEONE . but that SOMEONE sleep like a pig la . so yeah . i mean its weird to catch a love movie with ur parents right ? oh well, i thought so but i thought wrong . it was fun watching 'ketters to juliet" with my parents. mum and me keep crying . while dad keep looking at us like as though we were retards ! hahahahah . hmm , surprisingly , daddy loves th show too! ^^ yeah we had a long fun day though . chill , chatted , laughed . yeah i just thought hanging out with ur parents alot isnt that bad after all . :) anyway im listening to this song called seperated . hkay damn random but its fuggin nice .

nights nights ! kristal gonna jump into bedddddddddddddddddd :D

i can really use a wish right now .

2010-06-26T04:05:00.002+08:00

what a tiring day ! wooooh ! woke up quite early , thinkig if i shld go to sch or not . oh gawd can u fucking believe it that school is gonna reopen like in one day time ! fuck ? i know right . anyway , went to vivo with mum to meet up with cousin and aunt . then dad came along after work , and so did brother came too after his school . chill out and shop with cousin and aunt then left and headed to town for a movie - knight day . i swear its a nice sexy movieeeeeeee ! :] movie ended like 11.30 ? then called up cousin again and headed down to her place ! i fuggin love her house . its like damn big . four story bungalow . and theres a mini pool plus her baby nvr fail to make me laugh ! plus her three kittens . yeah i love her house . reached home like one hour ago ? and i just then finished bathing . nowwwww should i sleep or what ? but im tired, but i jus dont have th habit of sleeping early . oh boy this aint early at all ! hahah . anyway why are there so many nice movies coming up after school reopen ? fuck it man . means i cant watch all those nice movies ! but no matter what , I HAVE to watch eclipse ! i watched twilight and new moon in cinemas so i HAVE TO WATCH ECLIPSE in cinemas too ! anyway i guess imma crash . oh yeah, i still have yet to upload "father's day" photos ! not now . oh boy im too shag .

nights nights , busy world .

some things jus cant be mend .

2010-06-23T01:36:00.002+08:00

remember this song , that u intro to me ? yeaaa its beautiful . whenever i hear this song , it jus reminds me of th lovely past we used to have . everything was beautiful when there was you .

and still i wanna put this out

2010-06-21T22:49:00.003+08:00

im nt th type to get my heart broken , im nt th type to get upset and cry .

cause i nvr leave my heart open , never hurts me to say goodbye .

relationships dont get deep to me , never get th whole "in love" thing ..

and someone can say they love me truly , but at th time it didnt mean a thing .

my mind is gone , im spinning round . and deep inside , my tears i'll drown .

im loosing grip , whats happening ? i stray from love , this is how i feel ..

this time was different , felt like i was just a victim and it cut me like a knife , when u walked out of my life .. now im , in this condition and i got all th symptoms of a girl with a broken heart but not matter what you'll nvr see me cry again ..

did it happen when we first kissed ?, cause its hurting me to let it go .

maybe cause we spent so much time , and i knw that its no more ..

i should've nvr let you hold me , maybe why im sad to see us apart .

i didnt give to u on purpose , got to figure out how u stole my heart ..

how did i get here with you , i'll nvr know ..

i nvr meant to let it get so personal ..

after all i tried to do , stay away from loving you , im broken hearted .. i cant let yknow , and i wont let it show ..

how could this be ?

2010-06-21T04:13:00.005+08:00

no matter how hard i try to leave it behind and change , i couldnt .

jus like how th title of my blog is . i tried changing th name for th fourth time , and when i refresh and review my blog again , that name still appears . it has never happen this way before .. so yeah if u guys might be wondering why is my heading of my blog is that name , yeah i cant change it cause i dunno either . it will still appear th same title/name . its damn hard . i jus wonder how u done it so easily to forget everything .

oh fuck i cant help it .

i hate myself for being this way . my life has never been so complete before . well , it was but only for two months plus . i want my life to feel complete , by jus doing it myself .. jus myself .. but i cant . and why is that so ? and i dunno either .. th more i move on , th more i bounce back . so i dunno .. im giving up . im jus sitting here , jus feeling what i want and not fighting against it cause there aint any point . in th end , i still fall in th same hole . i ever wanted to text you . i even type shit loads , jus asking hows life and all , and in th end when i was about to scroll down to ur name , i dont even dare to press on it . in the end , i pressed back and delete everything that ive type and switch off my phone , and went to sleep .

i wanna call you , but im scare .

i wanna call you , but would u pick up ?

i wanna call you , but how to pretend as thought nth had ever happened and jus talking to you like how th first time we met ?

i wanna call you , but how do i even say " hi , how do you do ? "

i wanna text you , but im scare .

i wanna text you , but i dont even dare to type anything .

i wanna text you , but how do i start ?

i wanna text you , but would you reply ?

but you are still my only .

2010-06-20T13:30:00.002+08:00

"if love was a bird then we wouldnt have wings .
if love was a sky , we'd be blue ..
if love was a choir you and i could nvr sing ..
cause love isnt for me and you );
if love was an oscar you and i could never win , cause can never act out our parts .
if love is th bible then we are lost in sin , because its not in our hearts ..
so why dont you go your way , and i'll go mine
live your life , and i'll live mine ..
baby you'll do well , and i'll do fine
cause we're better off , seperated );
if love was a fire , then we have lost th spark . cause love never felt so cold .
if love was a light then we're lost in th dark , left with no one to hold ..
if love was a sport we're nt on th same team , you and i are destined to lose .
if love was an ocean then we are jus a stream , cause love was never for me and you ..
boy we had some good times ..
its sad , but in th end still we got to say goodbye .
boy you know i love you , well i cant deny .
i cant say we didnt try to make it work for you and i , cause we did ..
it hurts so much , but its best for us .
cause somewhere along this windy road we lost th trust ,
so i'll walk away so you dont have to see me cry .."

bleh , listening to this song jus made me tear cause it reminds me of things .. .. );

loose my way .

2010-06-18T14:08:00.005+08:00

im gng shopping today with mum dad . missed school again oh boy . i hope my art piece is doing fine . yikes ! what to blog what to blog . hmmmmm , i must get smth to wear for two different nights ! anyway , i jus woke up and like wtfffff ? im stilll veryyyyyy curious who are those "guest" asking abt thaddeus and all . gaaarh ); so , n level is like this year , and im FREAKING NOT READY YET . but i heard its easy , and th standard is damn low :) but like wthell ? if u got nine points for n level , its equavalent to 25 points for O level . oh gawd , fuck my life hard -.- can anyone intro me any new songs ?? anyway , girls out there , this song is for you babes ^^ it used to be my favourite song when i was young . its played from a movie called my bestfriend's wedding :)

anyway , sighhh get well soon alrights );
god knows how much imissyou ..

you appear, jus like a dream to me

2010-06-16T01:01:00.004+08:00

i aint sure if i should sell tix for th next upcoming event . sigh , sigh , sigh . many things is like on my mind right now and i cant get them off my mind to rest for a moment ); i miss u .. sigh , i still have that big hole in my heart and i jus hate so much to be left alone , because i will start thinking abt stuffs that can jus make cry on th spot . it sucks , waiting for something great to happen in ur life after hw many years , and then something better than what u wished , happened , and th next thing you know , it jus disappear and left u behind . >: oh boy , im going nuts man /: father's day is like coming up this sunday , and tmr my girlfriend is leaving her cupcakes behind to go back to her hometown . sigh sigh sigh , whats th worst that could've ever happen ? ): she's like leaving us for longggggg la . she will be back , after three weeks , which means that she'll miss th first week of sch >: i wish things can jus go back to normal , like hw i want it to . i hate how im feeling and living now . i want that precious thing back ..

); *tears*
nights nights sad world ,

breathe

2010-06-14T23:20:00.004+08:00

i see your face in my mind as i drove away . cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way . people are people and sometimes we change our mind . but its killing me to see you go after all this time .. music starts playing like th end of a sad movie . its th kind of ending you dont really wanna see , cause its tradegy and it'll only bring you down . i dont knw what to be without you around . and we knw its nvr simple , never easy , never a clean break .. no one hear to save me . your th only thing i know like th back of my hand . and i cant breathe without you , but i have to breathe without you , but i have to .. never wanted this , never wanna see you hurt . every little bump in th road i try to swerve . people are people sometimes it doesnt work out and nth we say is gonna save us from th fallout . its 2am feeling like i jus lost a precious thing .. hope you knw its not easy for me .

karate kid.

2010-06-13T02:24:00.002+08:00

fucking nice movieeeeeeeeee ! u guys have to watch . seriously. ha , today didnt end up bad afterall ! infact it was awesome , with th funny person . hmmm , gonna drop by and see glen tomorrow i guess . see how . he works at suntec . damn far la . th last time i went thr was like two years ago ?! oh crap . ha , maybe drop by to see him then . seee glen , im damn nice right ? i knw thanks . hhahahahhhah shag , got home late and and and mum didnt scold for th first time ! :)

shag now , imma crashhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
nights complicating life . hahahahahahah

eye mees yew .

2010-06-06T23:37:00.005+08:00

its been long since i've last post . wanna change to tumblr . pictures speaks a thousand words ha . but yeah kinda lazy , and i love this blog as ive many past[s] . anywayyyyyy , life's been alright . yeah yeah , i hope so . nth much to speak abt when it comes to life . nth great ahead or what . hmmm .. im gonna like try to keep my blog alive alrights . ? hah , jus dun feel much to do this but since june is so boring , imma start bloggin . hahah . everything been abit confusing though . and im like listening to this , song - best i ever had . hah , i knew this song when i first met him .and then , ever sang it to him on th phone though . haha , its a nice song . it reminds me of th amazing past i had . th last time i stepped into a club was like supper club ? and i swear , i had no mood to fucking dance lor . wasted my cash instead. i jus stood there in th middle , on th stage and starring at th havoc sweaty crowd . th songs were all reminding me of everything . worst still , who th hell cries in th club ? not cry i mean tear . hah . yeahhh , me indeed. so is like next week there's a bitch party . and i aint sure how things gonna go . im afraid i might feel shit , and lost and sad . i jus hope i could feel myself again like i was before , when im in th club . gonna see baby laura ! dance with her all night . yeah , miss you pretty thing . cant wait ! i hope things get better for me . oh god i think i heard me saying this before like many times -.- oh well , whats th worst that could ever happen ? hmmmm .

happy birthday to my precious , sixteen year old bitch .

2010-05-25T22:48:00.004+08:00

what a saturday blast we had , last week . it was awesomeeeeeeee ;> and th best part was that , baby loves every surprises me , ros and jh made for her ! yeeeeeeeeepeeeeeeeeee ! so YEAH , HINT HINT * MY BIRTHDAY BETTER DO NICE NICE * hahaahhaah kidding lei ;P and it was our first time , hanging out till late , like PASSED MIDNIGHT ! hahahahah! went to marina barrage and celebrated up there . then headed to esplanade for dinne ;> although there isnt any kites to fly , th people made th atmosphere amazing still with th helium shitsxz and all ! HAHAHAH ! ;>

<3<3<3

;>

2010-05-16T05:08:00.002+08:00

no one believes me when i say im happy ! and this makes me sad ! ):
they said , im a bad liar as im trying damn hard to hide my feelings away but its written all over my face that i aint okay . godddddddd .
even when im smiling there's this big word- " SAD " on my face -.- .
damnnnnnn . im happy lor ! from what i see . oh god .
im happy happy happy ! does that makes it clear that im damn happy ? hahhaha .
today was a bad / good day . yeah .

imma crash now nights .

kristal is sick >;

2010-05-10T19:40:00.003+08:00

down with fever , cough , and flu . whats th worst that could ever happen huh ?
oh well , life's unfair right ? its just th matter of fact on how u handle it urself though . im learning to be independent and strong .
cut off that soft side of me . cut off that giving in and sacrificing for people . cut off with th " its abt u than me " .
i gotta make my life right . like it or not , i still have to face it .
"expect th unexpected "
people change . they were devils once , but nw they are much better .
and another is that , they were angels but now they are jus something that has so much grudges against you .
whatever i do nvr seem right . although i said good stuffs , they wont be happy with it . and if i say bad stuffs , they will knock me down .
i nvr learn to express my feelings before until i met someone . thn i begin to open my heart and let out everything . nw letting out everything jus rather seem so wrong for that person , where by he/she was th one whom taught me so .
i gotta move on . i've been through this shit for three years before . and i got phobia and someone opened up my heart . but in th end i got stab like a knife from that someone . till today , that someone will still discriminate me till he or she is satisfy .
if i could survive still for three years pain , im sure i can deal much better with this time round huh ?
jus one thing , "dont let emotions overcome you " . its dangerous .
im turning sixteen , and what else more ? i have to study well , and enjoy life . parents , studies , me , friends - these are my priority .
give up on relationship , kristal .
sometimes , i get so lost and i found myself , heading to nowhere but just a big blank right infront of me with unsaid and undone things .
i have to be independent now and stand strong . and i cant bring down or disappoint ppl who treasures/ love me .
anyway , people been telling me stuffs how one tried to condemn my life and all yeah i mean , i have no say to these people but just one thing , hope u guys live ur own life right .
questions ? like all these , nonsensical questions ? nahh i aint interested just think what u want and done alrights :) be satisfy with urself and ur own answers and mind sets .

apart from all these another question of mine ...

why is ur - ego bigger than you ?

SHE'S JUST TOO WILD .

2010-05-10T00:55:00.006+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY THADDEUS ♥

2010-05-08T00:08:00.005+08:00

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY , SPECIAL THING. ENJOY YOUR DAY WELL ! HAPPY SWEET SEVENTEENTH BIRTHDAY :) HAVE FUN GETTING WASTED . I KNOW IM BEING RETARDED POSTING THIS FOR YOU , BUT SORRY I JUST CANT HELP IT BUT TO KEEP ON WISHING YOU , YEAH . AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN , IM SORRY IF I DIDNT GET YOU ANYTHING BECAUSE , I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO GET FOR YOU ): OR SHALL I SAY IM NOT ALLOWED TO SOMEHOW .. UGH WHATEVER . ANYWAY , TAKECARE SPEND YOUR DAY WISELY AND FILL THE DAY WITH AS MUCH HAPPINESS YOU COULD . AND FORGET ABOUT ANY TROUBLES YOU HAVE IN MIND , BUT JUST MAKE TH DAY , 8 MAY 2010 YOURS TODAY :) HAVE FUN , THAD .

♥ ♥ ♥

it hurts to know that your birthday is coming and im somhow restricted to do anything about it .

2010-05-06T22:48:00.004+08:00

me: should i .....

everyone says : FOR WHAT ? i mean , u guys are through right ? and.. u guys are like strangers again right ? hardly chat , infact didnt chat at all right ? it'll be weird if u do anything fr him on his birthday .

me: but th thing is .. its his birthday at least do a little something for him ?

everyone says : move on kristal . forget it . he wont appreciate it either . maybe he will acccept what u give to him , but u wouldnt knw what will he do to your gift .

this is what i meant );

i want to ....

but ... im afraid ....

i dont wanna piss you off on ur birthday , or make u sad or angry or frustrated .

but simple, all i wanted is jus to do something for you , but im restricted to .

everytime when i thought of something , something else bad triggers in my mind and it

stopped me from planning to do what i wanted . now im jus so hopeless and i can think of nothing .

u mean alot to me still .

hope ur seventeenth birthday will be the best . and all th best for ur exams .

nth much i can say but , iloveyou .

goodnight , T .

whats th point ?

2010-04-27T22:26:00.005+08:00

sigh , i planned what to do on his birthday like how many months back when everything went prefectly fine .. to me , it was a dream to celebrate your love ones birthday together with them because i nvr done it before . although its impossible to carry on with my "used-to-be" plans .. but what about getting him a present ? many said NO . but my heart and mind both , tells me yes . nw i just dunno what to do . to ignore his seventeenth or to buy a present and wish him . whenever i think abt it , i'll tend to get scare and lost , and i'll just break down and cry . and i cant stand that side of me . its horribly annoying .. >; i really dunno ! if i dun get him anything , i feel guilty and mean .. i mean its his birthday cmon .. and if i get him , im afraid i would have to face something worst which i still cant figure it out . i have many things been unsaid and undone . in my life , i nvr once get to finish a sentence before . im all unsaid and undone .

anyways , apart from that . its weird how nowadays , EVERYDAY u can say so , i dreamt abt him . i nvr once ask to dream of him before . althou i thought abt him like 24/7 ? i keep having th same dream over and over again , but just at different venues . you have no idea what my dream is like . whenever i dream , i could feel it . like as thou th whole shit was real . seriously . weird huh ? i once dreamt i was drowned .. oh well it was months back and yeah i could really feel th feeling of being drowned . and nw , he keeps coming into my dreams , and keep telling me it'll be alright . i dunno whats all these abt i dun even dare to dwell into it too much but th dream jus wont end ! there was once i nearly texted him " morning baby ". and then something triggers me like why do i still feel sad ? thn i realised , holy crap bitch , you guys are through ! thn i quickly delete what i was abt to sent . phew ! imagine if i actually send , i think he'll go like "wtf is this ?" hah . expected thou . but its not that bad after all .. i mean , since i said that whenever i dream , i could really feel whats happening like its all been set up so real . and yeah , i felt his kisses and hugs in my dream . jus that same old smell , old taste , old warmth that never ever ever ever changes . oh dear , imy ..

ps: ily .

lovey >;

2010-04-24T21:58:00.002+08:00

anyway , you have know idea how i felt last time whenever i hug ur arms , and kiss ur shoulder . there are loads of times when i wrapped myself around ur arms , and i kiss ur shooulder while u were busy doing something , many thoughts came into me . in my mind i was so thankful , that i had u , and im hugging u and i nvr feel once regret at all of all th things we been true . and i was like " sigh baby , im happy to be in ur arms now at this moment hugging u and knowing u would be my angel forever . " and there u calling me . it happen like four to five times . yupps. and somtimes i jus act out a strong front , and didnt want to show u what i was feeling at that moment . it was jus like a secret thing between me . hmmm sigh i guess i should have let out my true feelings and show everything of me . argh fuck it la , also no point . its too late kristal . anyway , i dunno im like loosing my mind liao . nvr a day passes by , me not mentioning ur name . oh crap . ur still that precious thing in my life . bye .

3,2,1 .. ITS 23RD

2010-04-23T00:01:00.003+08:00

oh god , i dunnno what can describe my feelings now but im jus so sad . thn i cant stop crying now . its been a month , we last met . i cant help it . its just another month , thats obviously not gonnna happen . pffft . screw it man . i can never get over you . you were th best I NEVER HAD BEFORE :( oh boy . i love you so much . i hope your doing fine . hope studies been well for you . and hope lifes been a great one . and yeah been long since ive seen those smiles . gooddd i miss it . i miss how you sound like . ii miss your whines . sigh i cant help it , as im typing this , while spilling all my tears on th keypad. im like spoiling my lappy . oh dear . sigh , can you come back ? oh well its impossible . you are gone a month ago . and forever will ... ); i love you alot . like i said , its hard to replace you . and i wont . even if i want to i cant either . its jus you . it has always been you ever since 23rd dec 09 . iloveyouforever , T. takecare have a great life .. bye ..

i wish ... you can ...

but , would you even ..

why cant you just ...

if ... only ...

you promised me .. that ..

you said ,...

;

sigh ,

we could have made it , if theres a will .

i need you so badly .

sigh .

2010-04-20T22:35:00.003+08:00

i miss his adorable baby face .
i miss his angry face .
i miss his sad face .
i miss his smiley face .
i miss his happy face .
i miss his act cute face .
i miss his "stick out tongue" thing .
i miss his body .
i miss his adorable not so long tongue .
i miss his bisceps .
i miss his chest .
i miss his eyes .
i miss his lips .
i miss his warmth .
i miss his hair .
i miss shocking him by th back .
i miss kissing him .
i miss holding him in my arms .
i miss clinging onto him .
i miss disturbing him .
i miss pinching his cheeks together and oh god . oh how he will stick out his tongue immediately >;
i miss calling him lovey & precious .
i miss webcamming with him .
i miss kissing him at my window .
i miss meeting him at th garden / bbq pit / poolside /that boy's house .
i miss surprising him with my presence at his doorstep .
i miss texting him .
i miss calling him .
i miss talking to him .
i miss seeing him .
i miss playing with him .
all i want to say is , i miss you and i need you so badly .. :(

SAMUEL FUNG ZIN ERN .

2010-04-19T23:40:00.003+08:00

OH DEAR , THANK GOD YOU ARE BACK . WE MISS YOU SO MUCH CAN ): HOPE YOUR ALRIGHT . I PROMISE WILL PRAY FOR YOUR WELL BEING ALRIGHT ? STAND STRONG , DONT FALL . DONT THINK TOO MUCH KAY ? ): YOU'LL BE FINE . JUST TAKE CARE OF YOUSELF HOKAY ? STUDY WELL , AND GET GOOD GRADES . AND I PRAY TH CASE WILL CLOSE BEFORE A YEAR . IF YOU FEEL LOST OR WHAT , YOU KNOW WE ALWAYS GOT YOUR BACK . SIGH VERY WORRY FOR YOU LEI MY DEAR FRIEND ); YOUR A GREAT GUY , ALWAYS THERE TO MAKE EVERYONE LAUGH AND CHEER PEOPLE UP . IF YOU ARENT THERE , WHO'S GONNA BE TH ONE DOING IT ALL ? AND WE'LL MISS ALL THOSE NONSENSE SHITS OF YOURS ): TAKECARE SAM .

with loves , kristal .

simple weekends wasnt that bad after all .

2010-04-18T23:39:00.002+08:00

saturday .

went to bishan cca cip shit thing . thn reach alr dunno they cancel it -.- zzz . then met up with ros . and walked around bishan . after that headed home , to meet yx to study . thn came along kok and des , but by th time ros had to reached home . went home 10.30 . oh well it was hilarious though . cause me and ros was walking around junction 8 then , we saw edwin - samuel's bestfriend . so yeah we are damn worried sick . like what happen to samuel , havent seen him for days and we miss him so god damn much ): samuel i miss you . i hope your alright friend . hmmm , so wanted to call out for edwin . thn he nvr hear then wanted to tap him but lazy dun want . thn ros was like jus go find him again le , ask about samuel . then after that somehow we find find until reach th highest floor of junction 8 . thn we saw th arcade . ros was like , eh dunno th guy went inside thr . thn we jus go in. and we somehow forgotten abt th guy and started playing th arcade games . LOL FUCKING CUTE OR WHAT . then now abit addicted to game can !

sunday .

met up with ros at amk library . returned books , thn wanna borrowed it but thn yx called , as he reached at amk hub alr with kok . thn met up with them , and kok wants to go to th library so had to fuggin-ly walked back to th library . buay tahan le , very hot and far hokay ! >; kay la ten mins only LOL but still far ! and like me and ros was jus from th library . then nvr say earlier if not can jus wait for them at th library marhsxz . thn kok studied while me ros and yx read many books ! lol ! me and ros went to search some animal book , wondering if there frog inside . then i anyhow flipped th page until came a cross one page of a fuggin god damn HUGE FROG CAN T.T AS BIG AS A FOUR YEAR OLD BOY LIDDAT . SICK OR WHAT . thn after that , danial coming also . thn headed to amk hub for dinner . but didnt ! >; danial came , and kok and yx changed their mind . decided to go lan -.-__ zzz . thn in th end went dinner with my babygirl only ! . dun sad hor aiai . hmmm , yeah ate mc wings . goddd still could feel those oily chickens down my throat cannnnn . anyway , shag now.
chaoz .

i failed to pretend again like everything's fine

2010-04-11T23:34:00.002+08:00

you were th one who i could tell my deepest fears . and you were th one who awlays wiped away my tears . when i was hurt , you were my prince sent straight from above . like a fool i never saw . so now i've lost everything , cause now you say you're gone forever more . and so who will i run to ? ); now that you left me behind , who will dry my tears when i cry ? like seriously , who will i turn to ; now that youre not here in my life .. ?

you were th one i took for granted all those months . and you were th one i should have known it was all so clear . how could i be so blind , not to see whats before my eyes ? i'll get you back here with me , if it takes th rest of my life .. cause i would give anything .. cause i really want you back forever more .

sigh ... i will gladly journey across th deep blue sea , if i could know that i would have you here with me . i need you back here in my life. i cant go on pretending anymore. it kills me each time i tried . and im dying soon ..

who will be there for me , and rescue me ? );

who is gonna share my dreams ? ):

who is gonna mend this broken heart of mine ? ):

why am i always sad , for my whole entire love life ?

for you , TEE .

2010-04-08T00:21:00.004+08:00

baby you know that i miss you . i wanna get with you tonight but i cannot babyboy and thats th issue , boy you know i miss you , i jus wanna kiss you but i cant right now so baby kiss me

through th phone .

baby , i know that you like me , your my future hubby . text me , call me , i need you in my life . all that , everyday i need you . and everytime i see you , my feelings get deeper . i miss you , i miss you , i really wanna kiss you but i cant .

baby , i've been thinking lately so much about you . everything about you , i like it , i love it , kissing you in public , thinking nothing of it .. roses by th dozen , talking on th phone , baby your so sexy your voice is so lovely .

i really really miss you , i miss you , i wanna kiss you , but i cant >;

oh , gosh not again ..

2010-04-06T18:56:00.003+08:00

guess mine is not th first heart broken .. my eyes are not th first to cry . im not th first to know that there's jus no getting over you . you know im jus a fool who's willing to sit around and wait for you . but baby , cant you see there's nothing else for me to do ? im seriously hopelessly devoted to you );

but now there's nowhere to hide , since you've pushed my love aside . im out of my head , im going crazy .. sigh .

my head is saying , "fool forget him." while my heart is saying , "dont let go , jus hold on till th end." and thats what i intend to do ..

i cant wait for th day for us to collide again ):

the love of my life , turns out to be a stranger somehow ; but i still feel th bonding .

2010-04-05T20:45:00.004+08:00

u know i was hurt , of all th things u said to me . but on th second thought while i was bathing , some sense knocked into me . its been long since i've received ur text and those kinda text telling me " ur actions affects alot of people " and bla bla blah . i jus smiled and i feel thankful , for those messages u sent to me . whether they were mean anot . but still , i can imagine , how you will frowned at th screen of your phone , and texting real fast and feeling angry and how you will show that angry look , yet its still adorable . anyway , thanks for scolding me and nagging at me . i miss it alot .. hmm oh well , awkward isnt it ? . hmmm , thanks for th messages , it meant alot to me .

i miss you and

i ...............

ugh oh well , nvm tc . thats all

they are th cupcakes of my life.

2010-04-05T20:43:00.003+08:00

why all my cupcakes isnt online ? girls i need you badly , to keep me alright now . i jus cant help it but to keep on .. ugh nvm ,
honeybuns , go online pretty please i need you ):

indifferent .

2010-04-05T19:17:00.003+08:00

oh well , couldnt take it anymore so texted him , asking him to study well as for now all secondary schools mid year exams are coming up . hell yeah , thn jus wanna try to say i miss him indirectly but in th end i texted him straight on how i misses him badly . hmmm , but he gl me . expected . thats why it took a whole lot of courage for me to text him . maybe i should put all these aside ? and jus think positively , like he will confirm gl or kp me . but whatever it is , he still cares for me ? .. even i say th right thing , he will make it sound stupid or wrong . if i say th bad thing , he will kp me million times . but yeah , used to it and numb already . but im jus thinking positively , that whatever it is my actions still do affect "people" ? why when u finally wanna make things right , thn ur past finally been revealed and it screwed up all th changes u were about to make , and you have less courage to stand strong alr ? life's tough uh ? oh well , im a fucking sixteen years old girl . i still have a long way to go . i can still correct my mistakes , and erase those sins i have done . i still have a long way to go to make life a great one , and to be a saint , not a sinner . he cares for me , but he dont show it .

" he's strong and aggresive on th outside , but it hurts him alot deep down . he's breaking apart each time deep down . he is very sensitive and soft , but very aggresive on th outside "

im afaid of life . i jus have nowhere to go . im lost . but all i know is that i wanna study hard .

2010-04-04T21:44:00.002+08:00

where to go ? who to believe ? who to turn to ? what to do ?
i never feel safe anymore and happy ever since th day you left .

?

2010-04-03T01:50:00.003+08:00

cant believe its over , i watched th whole thing fall .

if i only knew ..

th days were slipping past , that th good things never last ..

that you were crying .

summer turned to winter and th snow it turned to rain ..

and th rain turned into tears upon your face.

i hardly recognise th guy you are ..

and god i hope its not too late ..

cause you are not alone , im always there with you ..and we'll get lost together ,till th light comes pouring through .. when you feel like youre done, and th darkness has won , baby you arent lost . when your world's crashing down , and you cant bare th thought , baby you are not lost cause im somewhere next to you ..

and it cant tear your soul apart , it can make you feel like youve gone crazy but your not . things have seem to change , but there's one thing thats still th same , in my heart you have remained ..

& my heart is sure it wants to be with you only .

2010-03-30T02:09:00.006+08:00

" hi my love , im replaying th images of th past that end in tears and my love for you that never seems to fade away even though you are now far into distance .. th good memories still have not disappear - of course . untill th stars fill th entire night sky , you will continue to linger in my heart "

hey boy , im missing you so badbadbadbadbadlyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy .

no my life isnt fine at all .

hope studies and everything seems great for you .

tc , <3

2010-03-29T00:09:00.003+08:00

it feel so different being here , i was so used to being next to you . life for me is not th same .. there's no one to turn to . i dunno why you let it go too far . starting over -its so hard . seems like everywhere i go your always on my mind . i jus had a wake up call, wishing that i nvr let you fall .baby your not to blame at all .. when im th one that pushed you away ); baby if you knew i cared , you'ld have never went nowhere .. boy , i should've been right thr .

how do i breathe , without you by my side ?

how will i see , when your love brought me to th light ?

where do i go , when your heart is where i lay my head ?

boy im losing my mind , yes i made a mistake .

i thought that you would be mine , guess th joke was on me .

i miss you so bad i cant sleep , i wish i knew where you could be ,

what if another chick is replacing me ? god this cant be happening ):

i cant get over you , hell no .

baby i dont wanna let go , hell no .

boy you need to come back .

cause baby you mde it hard to breathe when you arent with me .

ugh what else more could i say ?

iloveyou .

was it a memory we had ? or jus a dream ?

2010-03-28T23:38:00.006+08:00

i gotta change that station that i have , cause all i hear is you .
it jus keeps reminding me , of all th things we used to do .
and i know that i should turn, off th radio .. but its th only place i hear your voice anymore ..
its ridiculous , its been weeks , since i've spoken to you ..
you aint keep in touch ...... dont know why it came to this ...
if your so sick of love songs, so tired of tears .. you said you love me , why arent you here ?
im so sick of your love songs , so sad and slow.. but i just cant turn off th radio .
gotta fix that calendar i have , thats marked 23 dec ..
cause it seems like you forget thats our monthsary .
when i heard your song , it made it hard to erase your memory .
now when i hear your song i know its best for me .

who am i ?

2010-03-28T00:47:00.003+08:00

i said i willl love you for long . yes i will love you for very long till th end . you mean th world to me still . i jus dunno how to text u or call you . im afraid of everything now . im weak and lousy and scared .

how could you love me and leave me and never , say goodbye ?

2010-03-27T14:44:00.001+08:00

ieqah ,

2010-03-26T19:38:00.003+08:00

dearest friend of mine , congratulations girl , its your fourth month alr ! i jus stumbled upon ur blog though . hmm superb happy for you yea love (: yeah time flies fast ! treasure him well ! last long . your love stories has always been a disastrous one , jus like mine , and we always had th same stroyline , and oh how we used to cry together , finishing up each other's sentences of how we're feeling . after all those bulshits you had , you finally had happiness for quite long uh ? (: dont let it end . u deserve happiness so much baby .
treat him well , and dont ever let go off him !

love kristal .

i hate everyday .

2010-03-26T17:17:00.003+08:00

where are you right now ?

how are you spending your day today ?

who will you be with ?

what will you be doing ?

who are you thinking of ?

who are you missing ?

are you happy ?

are you enjoying life ?

this questions keep running into my head .

life's tough .

been weeks , since then .

oh well .. get back to my art now .

even though we used to argue its alright .. i know we havent seen each other in a while , but you will always be my boo ..

that hero .

2010-03-26T00:35:00.000+08:00

are you really gone ? ...
):
):
):

whats th point of winning something , that you arent interested with ?

2010-03-25T22:47:00.007+08:00

damn , i hit th first . wont it , but who cares .
run kristal , run as fast as you could , and i heard his name been screamed .
i slowed down , and flashback[s] keep running through my mind , and somehow
i've reached th finishing line . 1st it is .

if i collapsed ,

2010-03-25T02:30:00.002+08:00

sports day later on .
he promised he'll be there cause he didnt turn up for my sports heats th other time .
oh well , although physically you arent thr , i hope mentally you could be thr to support me .

goodnight , angels .

im not a sinner , neither am i saint .

2010-03-25T02:05:00.006+08:00

life now is tough for me .

i pray that it'll make it all better soon .

i jus didnt know what else to do .

but please dont write me off yet ,

iloveyou til the end my dear ..

temptations .

2010-03-23T20:25:00.005+08:00

hey , .. you look super adorable just now .
you look really adorable ..

after two weeks .. you look adorable and ..

i wanted to ..

i feel like ...

but ...

oh well , ... .

im so shy .

wish you like it .. although its colourful and ugly but yeah ..

ermmmmmmmmmmmm

anywayssss , if you change your mind .. and yahhhh ..

you somehow want it all back again ..

im still here , and forever will be waiting kay ? (:

...

when a person keeps putting much faith and tells u they wont ever leave you , means that they will be th one leaving you ..

2010-03-23T00:57:00.003+08:00

happy third month thats not gonna happen alr ? ..

gue ngak tau si apa yang gue harus rasakan atau lakukan . loe satu-satunya yang gue paling cintai bangat di dalam dunia ini . loe yang membuat gue senyum karna gue mau dan bukan karna gue dipaksai . tapi semuanya berubah dan loe juga ngak mau pandang gue lagi ..

HAPPY

2010-03-22T06:31:00.000+08:00

you are strong .. you are much stronger than this );

2010-03-21T22:52:00.005+08:00

i hope this song will find you awake . cause what i need to say , cant wait . i loved you since we were , jus babes . th world can try but we , cant change .. cause im falling , im falling , for you .

oh darling , its finally true .. i hope this song brings you , back to life . cause i can see the fear , in those eyes . i promise you if we , jus try . we'll take this wrong , and make it right . and someday i'll break your fall too ... cause im falling , im falling , for you .

my heart , found ... a home .

FUCK

2010-03-21T15:18:00.002+08:00

T?

2010-03-21T03:40:00.001+08:00

i feel like getting a tattoo dengan nama loe di situ );

pain pain pain

2010-03-21T02:10:00.002+08:00

i want die i want die i want die i want die i want die i want die i want die . its painful painful painful painful painful painful painful painful painful painful painful painful painful painful painful painful painful painful painful painful painful painful painful painful painful painful painful painful . im broken hearted im broken hearted im broken hearted im broken hearted im broken hearted im broken hearted im broken hearted im broken hearted im broken hearted im broken hearted . fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

crycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycry

THATS ALL I DO AND I HAVE BEEN FEELING . ?!

WHAT TH HELL . IM LIKE GONG THROUGH A SLOW DEATHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

i cry and cry and cry and cry zomg crying is th sex man .

2010-03-21T00:46:00.003+08:00

its like , whatever i do jus cant get through to you .
he loveD me , i love him . he used to care , and i still care .
th love that he used to give me cant be found anywhere ..
i lost my way , thn he said he'd stay . but lately , i've been sleeping with a ghost . my stock is down and out , i used to be worth my weight in gold ..
but that was before a great depression kicked in and rocked us . and that was before th hurricane came in and stopped us .
i ever told you to leave , but you lied to me when you said that , "baby no worries i promise to get us back ."
sigh .. now i know that sorries just wouldnt do it . his heart is obliterated , im trying to travel through .. but its like moving mountains .
but i keep climbing and hoping things would change , and th sky turns gray and th water from th rain washes progress away ..
but they are jus like moving mountains .
why did you jus leave me ? ...
he dont touch me i dont touch him , we rarely even say a word .
i really want to give him everything he deserves , but th bad took away th good ..
he thinks that im still full of it ; arguments , always pissed ,... man im tired ...
every kiss that i miss , boy you know im trying .
you never believe when i say , and i never believe when you say ,
i love you , and i shouldnt complain about it but instead i should jus take it like a strong girl and walk up out of it .. cause we will never be th same ...
i've been standing in gas and you have been th flame .
this must be a slow death that im travelling on ...
it feels so wrong , im barely holding on ..
see no matter what it takes , i've gotta get it together .
and these hills that im travelling up , he aint showing me love .
im just really down on my love ..

head over heels .

2010-03-20T23:57:00.005+08:00

it hurts to live a life like mine . everyday , keep crying and thinking of him and waiting for him . you know , that i keep thinking till th next thing i know its past midnight . i thought it was just 8 pm . i actually sat down on this red carpet , books infront of me , nt even touching them but jus keep starring into space . this is how i live my life . and i get out of th room only when i need for food or drinks . its damn tiring but i cant stop . sigh ... it hurts . damnnn it hurts .. and th worst part is that th third is coming . i dun even dare to mention about it to him . i dun even dare to think of th date . im too afraid to do anything or to think but jus to wait for him ..

too much sorrows ..

2010-03-20T22:39:00.003+08:00

i know you think that i shouldnt stil love you , or tell you that .

but if i didnt say it , well i'd still felt it ..

where's th sense in that ?

im not trying to make your life harder or return to where we were , cause i know how badly you hate all of it and me . but i just dont want you to neglect me thats all ..

i will go down with this ship , ad i wont put my hands up and surrender .

there will be no white flag above my door .

im in love and will always will be ..

i know i left too much mess and destruction to come back again .

and i cause nothing , but trouble .

i understand if you cant be th same anymore ..

and if you live by th rules of "its over" ,

then im sure that that makes sense .

and when we meet , which im sure we will ..

all that was there , will be there still .

i'll let it pass and hold my tongue .

and you will think that i've moved on .

but im not at all .. and i really cant ):

nothing i can do can make you , sigh ....

2010-03-20T22:24:00.003+08:00

he's my everything , like a morning boy . he's my angel , up above my world ..

he's th only one who understands me .

that's why i call him my new family .

see , he's th only one that i want by my side ,

he's th only one that i believe can save my life .

he makes me want to be a better girl , for sure .

he's higher than th sky , th suns , and th moon ..

he's just like a star .

first let me say , he's th best of me .

is it cliche ? to say he's destiny ? ..

there is no one else but him , well at least for me .

and thats exactly why i must repeat that ,

he's just like a star .

he's my star , my light , my starry night .

aviator shades cause he shines so bright .

cause he could be my angel wings ..

his voice sounds like an angel sings .

i'll be back with th trademark strings ..

jus trying to compliment with th sound he brings .

he's like ; we could go far , and

im like ; you are my guiding star ..

baby T ,

2010-03-20T20:15:00.002+08:00

anyway , if u happen to see this , i jus wanna show you two of th pics i have made for you . jus scroll all th way down , and you'll see "older post " click it , thn yupps you'll see them . hmmm . sigh , bye ..

i cant stand this silence no more ..

2010-03-20T15:27:00.003+08:00

i could sit in this house , in this room , in this bed , jus as long as im feeling this way .. and boy sinced you've been away , i cant sleep , i've been awake , i just lay here trying to deal with this pain .. four walls and no you ? ); this silence in this room is so loud , no one else can fix it but you . it's just so hard to face ... i lost you . why'd i throw your heart away .. now im going down , like im on th ground , i lost you .. baby im sitting here wishing i could change th past , knowing deep inside i cant get my baby back .. i lost you .. baby , i jus cant stand th way that i lost you . i've been trying to put th pieces of a picture back together , but it just dont look th same .. i feel sick , cause my heart stop beating and i feel like im slipping away .. i really dont know how im gonna make it . im going crazy . but somehow you can find your way , or shall i say you've already did .. i just wish you can find your way back to me .. sigh ..

things are totally different now .

2010-03-20T15:04:00.003+08:00

" i wanted you to be there when i fall , i wanted you to see me through it all .. i wanted you to hold me in my sleep , i wanted you to show me what i need , i wanted you to know jus how down deep i wanted you . i've been pushing hard to open up th door , trying to take us back to where we were before .. "

we make our pacts , we're independent . we dumped our boyfriends and we do our hair , anyway we would like .. we figure out that we're attractive . and we look around , and how we love to live th single life . and then we tell ourselves , we'll never fall in love again . but thn he comes around , and suddenly i understand , that i have never really been in love before . and suddenly i know what all th love songs that they write are on about . and suddenly i dont care if its right or wrong . but as long as he's around , and suddenly th things that used to sound cliche are perfectly right in my eyes , perfectly right with this guy . i know is weird , but we are connected . and in some strange and crazy way i think , that we have always been . and now he's here and he says he loves me and it feels so right .. in fact it feels so good that i cant sleep at night . th way he touches me and i feel my skin is burning , kisses me and i feel my stomach is turning ... he's th one . yes , i knew he's th one . and suddenly i know what all th love songs that they write are on about . and suddenly i dont care if its right or wrong , as long as my baby's around . and suddenly th things that used to sound cliche are perfectly right in my ears .

feel so weak without ur touch .

2010-03-20T14:52:00.002+08:00

2'oclock am and i wish that i was sleeping . you're in my head like a song on th radio . all i know is that i got to get next to you . sitting here , tuning minutes into hours , to find th nerves just to call you on th telephone . maybe we're friends , maybe we're more . maybe its jus an imagination , but i see you stare jus a little too long ... and it makes me start to wonder . so baby call me crazy , but i think you feel it too .. i asked around and i heard that you were talking . told my girl that you thought i was out of your league . what a fool , i got to get next to you still .. hmmmm , its 5'oclock in th morning and i cant go to sleep . cause i wish , yeah i wish that you knew what you mean to me . baby , lets just get together and end this misery .

at th beginning with you .

2010-03-20T14:08:00.004+08:00

we were strangers , starting out on our journey . never dreaming , what we'd have to go

through ..

no where we are and im suddenly standing , at th beginning with you .

no one told me , i was going to find you .. unexpected , what you did to my heart .

when i lost hope , you were there to remind me that this is just th start ..

and life is a road that i wanna keep going , love is a river i wanna keep flowing , life is a road now and forever ; a wonderful journey ..

i'll be there when th world stops turning . i'll be there , when th strom is through ; in th end i wanna be standing at th beginning with you .

we were strangers , on a crazy adventure ..

never dreaming , how our dreams would come true . now here we stand , unafraid of th future , at th beginning with you .

i knew there was somebody somewhere . like me alone in th dark . now i know that my dream

will live on . i've been waiting so long .. nothing is gonna tear us apart .

so i texted this ,

2010-03-20T12:35:00.003+08:00

"ever since th day you went away and left me lonely and cold , my life just hasnt been th same . baby if i ever get th chance to be with you again , i would sacrifice . cause th feeling that i feel within , no other guy would ever make me feel so right . its nice to smile when i get your phone call at night , but i rather have you here with me right next to me , and i miss th way you hold me in your sight . i gotta let you know i feel so weak without your touch . i never thought that i could ever love a guy so much .. i gotta let you know i think that we are destiny ? for you i'd cross th world , for yo i'd do anything .. thats right baby . im going crazy , i need to be your lady , i've been thinking lately that you and me , yes we can make it . im in love with you thaddeus . i will tell you what i feel , from th moment that i met you its been so damn real . my heart seems to skip another beat everytime we speak . i really cant believe i feel so weak . i'll be around waiting for you . i can no longer go on without you , i'll jus break down every night .. "

good morning / afternoon , lovey . hope you had a great day today althou its raining heavily ..

when i try , i just break down .

2010-03-20T02:38:00.004+08:00

remember oh how i used to hug you from th back like this when u're busy doing ur stuffs ? hmmm thn i start disturbing u and got u distracted hahah .

i miss those times , sigh .

do yknow .

2010-03-20T01:30:00.003+08:00

do you kow what it feels like , loving someone thats in a rush to throw you away ?
do you know what it feels like , to be th last one to know th lock on th door has changed ?
if birds flying south is a sign of changes , at least you can predict this , every year .
but love , you never know th minute it ends suddenly , i cant get to speak ..
maybe if i know all th things it took to save us , i could fix th pain that bleeds inside of me ..
look in your eyes to see something about me ; im standing on th edge and i dont know what else to give .
i flow through my act , there's a question : is he needed ?
and decide all th girl , i can ever be .
looking at th last three years like i did , i know i can do much better .
seeing your face on my pillow , is a scene that keeps happening to me .
sigh .. you could never tell th next thing life could be .

iloveyousomuch & i dunno why , cause its just like that .

long for your touch .

2010-03-19T03:48:00.001+08:00

its funny how these questions you keep asking me . haha i jus cant stop giggling . don worry lovey , what i said before was all true kay ?

iloveyousomuchmorethananything .

i love your everything

2010-03-19T03:45:00.001+08:00

forgive me , lovey ..

undescribeable feeling ;>

2010-03-19T00:03:00.006+08:00

i willl never give up , and i didnt .

he said ILOVEYOU to me for th first time ! OHMYGOD I CANNOT IMAGINE HOW HAPPY I AM , I WANTED TO SCREAM ON TH SPOT BUT I SAVE IT . I MEAN AFTER U CRIED A SHIT LOADS , THN EVERYTHING WENT HOKAY ON TH SPOT SO IS LIKE CAN U IMAGINE ?! once i hung up , i keep screaming ! i swear im damn happy . im super happy , like a miracl jus happen to me . i wont stop changing and i still wanna keep changing till im perfect somehow . i love you lovey . really, i wll fight for this love no matter what . how mean you are to me , nothing can pull my love down for you . i will nvr let you go .. i stand up with you forever .. i'll be there with you through it all , even if saving you sends me to heaven .

thaddeus , you are my life and my everything .

kristal , your hopeless.

2010-03-18T02:13:00.002+08:00

shit , i failed . i made him angry again .. ): how how how ? when i linger too much on him , he give me cold replies and chase me away somehow . so i try not to be too close althou i really want to be . i think im jus going to linger to him thn . he like it or not , i still wont stop showing that love i have for him . im still not giving up . i love him alot and th love never fade before . i let him down again . i hate myself . whr th fuck was my brain man . i cant afford to make a single mistake ! i have to be perfect ): i really have to . and i will althou i have never been one in my life . but i will give it up all jus for you lovey . i try , and i fall , then i jus pick myself up again , and im gonna try again . im going up this tall mountain . if i fall down all th way back , im sure i will pick myself up back again , and keep trying till i make it to th top . i want to , and i have to because i love you . you are my life right now baby T .

one day at a time .

2010-03-17T22:25:00.005+08:00

you got lost , for awhile .

you've been trying to find a smile .

you got stood up , then you fell down , and when you needed , there was no one round .

you love th previews , and hate th movies .

you scream at th screen , before you start to fade away ..

give me all your fear , throw it all away .

& think about th good things , no matter what they say , we'll take tomorrow baby ,

one day at a time .

you jus star into space , you found love but it got erased .

you're on th road with all th stoplights , and you're too afraid to turn th wrong from right .

you ate your soul and it make you fat , starve yourself from everything else that makes you completely full ..

you run and you hide and you watched as they die .

they all fell , you could fall too .. or you could sew your wings and try to fly right through .

give me all your fear , throw it all away .

& think about th good things , no matter what they say .. we'll take tomorrow baby ,

one day at a time ..

iloveyouthaddeus .

babe , you arent th only one crying when hear this song ..

2010-03-17T21:50:00.005+08:00

hey , slow it down what do you want from me ? what do you want from me ?

yeah , im afraid what do you want from me ? what do you want from me ?

there might have been a time when i give myself away .

once upon a time i didnt give a damn , but now here we are ...

what do you want from me ?

just dont give up , im workin it out ..

please don give in , i wont let you down ..

it messed me up , need a second to breathe .

jus keep coming around , hey what do you want from me ? what do you want from me ?

yeah it's plain to see that you're beautiful , and nothing wrong with you ; its me im a freak , but thanks for loving me cause you're doing it perfectly ..

there might have been a time when i let you slip away , i wouldnt even try but i think you could save my life .

I CRY OUT OF JOY

2010-03-17T06:23:00.002+08:00

"NIGHTS BABY"

i was smiling , thn i laughed and i screamed and i cry ! IM SUPER HAPPY CAN U BELIEVE? im not gonna stop changing no i wont ! this is all for you baby :) , who knows next he will sayyyyyyyyy

I LOVE YOU!
THN I CAN JUMMP DOWN LIAO CAUSE SO HAPPY HAAHHAHA
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE IM CRYING AND SMILING WHILE TYPING THIS !:))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

love me again ..

2010-03-17T01:03:00.002+08:00

we belong together .. and you know that im right . why do you play with my heart ? why do you play with my mind ? said we'd be forever .. said it never die .. how could you love me , and leave me and never say goodbye ? well i cant sleep at night , without holding you tight . boy each time i tried , i just break down and cry .. pain in my head , how i rather be dead .. it keeps spinning around and around . although we've come to the end of th road , still i cant let go . its unnatural, u belong to me , i belong to u . you've always been there before , but now its ur first time not being there for me when i feel like dying . we should be happy together forever , you and i . do you love me again like you love me before ? this time i want you to love me much more .. );

" boy , im here for you .. all those times and nights when you just hurt me , baby i didnt care because i cant be bothered to , but jus to care about those good points you have done for me and keep loving you strongly ." you jus dont understand how much i love you , do you ?): im here for you kay baby .. and i wont go out to enjoy or whatever . mostly jus to feel pain , when im out . i love you anyway , and im still gonna be here for you till my dying day baby .. im jus in so much pain baby , cause you jus wont come back to me .. ): yes baby , my heart is so lonely . my heart hurts baby , cause i feel pain so much .

miracles from me .

2010-03-17T00:56:00.003+08:00

its late at night , and i cant sleep . missing you , jus runs to deep . i really cant breathe , thinking of your smile.. every kiss i cant forget , well this aching heart aint broken yet . oh god , i wish i could make you see , cause i know this flame isnt dying .. so nothing can stop me from trying . baby you know that maybe its time for miracles , cause i aint giving up on this love , no i aint giving up on us . you know that , maybe its time for miracles . i jus want to be with you , cause living is so hard to do , when all i know is trapped in your eyes .. th future i cannot forget , this aching heart aint broken yet . baby , can you feel it coming ?you know i can hear it .. hear it in your soul . baby , when you feel me feeling you , you know that its time .. for miracles .

T.

2010-03-17T00:26:00.004+08:00

give me more loving than i ever had , make it all better when im feeling sad . tell me that im special even when i know im not . make it feel good when it hurts so bad , barely getting mad , im so glad i've found you . i love being around you , you make it easy . give me more loving from the very start . piece me back together when i fall apart , tell me things you never even tell your closest friends . make it feel good when it hurts so bad , th best that i've had .. im so glad i've found you , i love being around you baby T .

with love , baby K .

why cant i have a happy ending ?

2010-03-16T22:32:00.002+08:00

i thought moving on was th best thing . when after three years , i didnt dare to move on , and i never tried thn finally last year , 23 dec , i moved on .. and i cant explain how happy i am till now . but i fail everything . i spoiled everything . not even a chance i've been given . my life , is such a shit . i nvr wanna move on anymore . im staying here , and loving you always . i swear and promise . im still staying in this love and i refuse to leave . im afraid to move on and i dun want to . cause ur th one whom made me moved on life , and made me smile because i want to . u change everything , and it will remain liddat . nothing can change what you change . im fighting back for this love . i dun wanna fail , i wanna success this time . no matter how bad you are to me , i still love you for who you are and what you are . im staying ..

we built it , we cant destroy it .

2010-03-13T23:06:00.002+08:00

we stand together till th very end . there'll never be another love for sure ..
stones heavy like th love you've shown , solid as th ground we've known , and i jus wanna carry on .. we took it from th bottom up , and even in a desert storm , study as a rock we hold .. wishing every moment froze . now i just wanna let you know ; earthquakes cant shake us . cyclones cant break us . hurricanes cant take away our love .. pyramid , we built this on a solid rock , it feels jus like its heaven's touch , together at th top , just like a pyramid .. and even when th wind is blowing , we'll never fall jus keep on going .. forever we will stay , like a pyramid .

cold , never ever when you're close .. we will never let it fold , a story that was never told something like a mystery . and every step we took , we've grown . look how fast th time has flown , a journey to a place unknown .. we're going down in history . like a pyramid boy let me show you , that i love you so much that we're gonna get through . even when there's storms , i will never go , but imma' be th one to keep you safe .. before was our love back it up more than enough , holding on to one another be th cover when its rough . mother nature or disaster wont stop at happy ever after . just remember baby , forever we will stay , like a pyramid . we built this on a solid rock , it feels just like its heaven's touch . together at th top , jus like a pyramid .

& shitsxz , i've finally done it .

2010-03-13T21:36:00.003+08:00

it was 3am when you woke me up , and we jumped in th car and drove as far as we could go . just to get away , we talked about our lives until th sun came up . everytime i see your face , everytime you look my way , its like it all falls into place .. everything feels alright . ever since you walked away , you left my life in disarray , all i want is one more chance , all i need ; one more chance to be with you .. we jus kept walking along till we hit this town , there was nothing there at all .. but that was all hokay . we spent all our money on stupid things , but if i looked back now i'd probably give it all away .. just for one more chance , one more chance with you precious ):

only one .

2010-03-11T23:25:00.004+08:00

you and me together , make th perfect combination .. like a body to a soul ..

i know you have trust issues but im here to let you know , im ur girl , ur my boy , better half you make me whole .. i know you go through my phone , checking all of my messages . thinking i'd do you wrong , trying to see who im messing with . baby i'll ride for you , baby i'll die for you , you are my only one , th only one that im loving .. th only one that im loving is you .. th only one i let touch me is you . your th only one that sees me in my vicky secret , th one i share my sheets with baby , th only one that i want is you . th only one that im missing is you . and th only one that im kissing is you , your th only one that sees me , look rough in th morning , get that early loving baby. th only one im loving is you ..

see me without you would be like some music with no song .. us together is not a choice , is like me , without a voice . and baby when i tell you that there's nothing going on , imma' need you to trust me and stop trying to prove me wrong baby .

i know we can thts why im nvr gonna give up this love we have .

2010-03-11T21:21:00.007+08:00

thaddeus ,
do you remember th nights we stay up just laughing , smiling for hours at anything ..
remember th nights we drove around crazy in love ..
when th lights go out , we'll be safe and sound ..
we'll take control of th world like its all we have to hold on to and we'll be a dream ..
do you remember th nights we made our way dreaming hoping of being someone big ?
it was back thn when we were so crazy in love ..

i feel lonely and not been loved anymore ..

2010-03-09T19:23:00.002+08:00

i couldnt tell you why i felt that way ..

i felt it everyday ..

and i couldnt help myself , as i jus watched myself make the same mistakes again .

whats wrong now ? too many problems are on ..

dont know where i belong , i don wanna go home ..

its where i lay , broken inside ..

with no place to go , no place to dry my tears .

open your eyes and look outside , find the reasons why ..

now you cant find what you've left behind .

be strong , be strong now ..

there's too many problems .

my feelings , i hide ..

my dreams , i cant find ..

im losing my mind ...

im fallen behind ..

im losing my faith ..

i've fallen from grace ..

im all over th place now ..

im really lost inside ... deep inside ..

sigh ..

2010-03-09T19:14:00.003+08:00

something jus isnt right , i can feel it inside ..

the truth isnt far behind me , you cant deny baby ..
when i turn the lights out , when i close my eyes , reality overcomes me , im living a lie ..

this has gone on so long , i realise that i need something good to rely on , something for me .. and thats having you back in my arms ..

my heart is broken , im lying here ..

my thoughts are choking , on you my dear ..

i wanna know everything ..

2010-03-09T19:00:00.003+08:00

i looked away , then i look back at you ..

you try to say , things that you cant undo .

if i had my way , i'd never get over you .. todays the day i pray that we'll make it through .

make it through the fall , make it through it all .

& i dont wanna fall to pieces , i jus wanna sit and stare at you ..

i dont want to talk about it , and i dont want a conversation ..

i jus want to cry infront of you ..
i dont wanna talk about it , cause im in love with you ..

you're the only one i'd be with till the end .

when i come undone , you bring me back again ..

back under the stars , back into your arms ..

wanna know who you are , wanna know where to start , i wanna know what this means ..

wanna know how you feel , wanna know what is real , i wanna know everything .. jus everything .

kill me .

2010-03-09T18:51:00.004+08:00

i miss you .. miss you so bad .

i dont forget you .. ; its so sad .

i hope you can hear me , i remember it clearly ..

the day you slipped away was the day i found it wont be the same .

i wish i could see you again , .. i know that i cant .

i had my wake up , wont you wake up , i keep asking whyyyyy ..

and i cant take it , i wasnt fake , it happened you passed by ..

now you're gone , there you go , somewhere i cant bring you back , somewhere you're not coming back .